Saturday, March 7, 2009

Politico Sushe

The fun has begun.

With the Elected Commisions of Indians announcing the dates for the Great Indian Circus.

The Chief acquired a permanent look-left posture throughout the drama because his bete noire, whom he wanted to unseat is seated to his right.
If food is not served how can fun be fun?
Any festival remains incomplete if tummy is not filled.

So here's Politico Sushe (pronunciation: Su as in zoo and She as in creche) for the poor Indian voter (ensure that you keep your Electoral Photo Identity Card ready, in case food is not served on a platter).


Elephant leg (available at all Maya stores) -- 30 pieces

Corngressed -- 130 g

Saffron 130 g

Red Chilli 25 to 30

Daal -- not available hence not to be used

Moolie (Mulayam variety) crushed 10 to 12

Lal Mirchi 15 to 20
Reliable Oil (Anil variety) -- according to needs

(Do not confuse Red Chilli with Lal Mirchi. The former is grown in Bengal and Kerala and the latter in Bihar)

Curry leaves (in Twos -- specially nurtured in Poes Garden) -- 25 to 30

Ensure that either Corn or Saffron is used during the final process. Never add both. It may spoil the party.


Take a cauldron.
Fill it with water up to the brim (please note that water is the main ingredient of this dish).

Heat it using dry leaves, logs of wood. Cooking by any other means shall be unconstitutional and will invite the wrath of ECI.

When the water boils, stir it after adding salt (specially used to rub wounds). When it reaches the halfway mark, add elephant legs and close it with a lid. If possible the cook(s) can sit on it.

Note that too many c(r)ooks do not spoil the broth as is the usual belief.

After 30 minutes add water.

Wait till it boils again.

Add water and all other ingredients except Corngressed and Saffron.

Add water.

Now pour half of the broth to another cauldron.

Add water to both the vessels.
Season it using Reliable Oil


Now add Congressed to one cauldron and Saffron to the other.

Add water.


Check patience level of guests.

Give them water if absolutely necessary.

Do not allow anyone to enter the kitchen and bolt it from inside.

Because midnight dramas (Call Sonia Save India variety) are not allowed this time.

'Jai Ho' can be belted out for the time being.

Now set the table for 272.

Serve hot Congressed Sushe in Gandhi Topi and Saffron Sushe in lotus leaves. Add cold water to each serving.

See which cauldron gets emptied fast.

Dig out Archimedes from the grave. Gag him lest he cries Ureka.

Give him one week time to prove that his method of exhaustion to calculate the area under the arc of a parabola with the summation of an infinite series is still valid and accurate.

Do not give him water during this period.

Ensure that he fails.

Return him to the roots.

Hoist the Tricolour.


Let slumdogs relish on the leftovers, if any.

No comments :