Friday, April 18, 2014

Loud, Louder, Loudest

Welcome back to the Super Lung Power Show.
I am the super Anger.
I represent the angry mob with a 25 cm vocal fold (remember the usual size of a vocal fold in males is between 1.75 cm and 2.5 cm  in length and those in  females between 1.25 cm and 1.75 cm).
Joining me in the lung exercise is Ms. Right to my extreme left, Ms. Left to my extreme right, Mr. Centrie on my lap (gosh! I forgot my undie), sorry above my head, and Mr. Selfie clinging on to the  camera.
All the  lung-less  can occupy the spaces below my foot (My Foot!).
As the show progresses more and more lung-ies will join it.
Please don't move.
Hold your breath.
In the next 30 seconds we can see many a lung puffing and coughing (no pun intended on Mr. Coughie who has abandoned lung power show midway).
We will dissect the stratified squamous epithelium, pseudostratified ciliated epithelium, mucociliary blanket, the population density of some of the anchoring fibers in basal membrane, Reinke's space, oscillation pattern, voice pitch, harmonics, Adam, Adam's apple, Eve, Eden Garden, .... Let's take a break now.
We'll be right back. It's a warning. Don't move, hold your breath.
***
Welcome back to the Super Lung Power Show.
I am the super Anger.
I represent the angry mob with a 25 cm vocal fold (remember the usual size of a vocal fold in males is between 1.75 cm and 2.5 cm  in length and those in  females between 1.25 cm and 1.75 cm).
Joining me in the lung exercise is Ms. Right to my extreme left, Ms. Left to my extreme right, Mr. Centre on my lap (gosh! I forgot my undie), sorry above my head, and Mr. Selfie clinging on to the  camera.
All the  lung-less  can occupy the spaces below my foot (My Foot!).
As the show progresses more and more lungies will join it.
Please don't move.
Hold your breath.
So the question we are asking tonight, the question that the nation seeking an answer tonight, the question which you prefer not to answer tonight is: Why does the sun rises in the east?
Do you see a conspiracy between moon and earth?
Do you think sun could have risen in the north, south, or west?
I know Ms. Rightie you are grinning at the prospect of the sun rising in the west.
But who is forcing the sun to rise in the east?
Who is preventing the sun from rising from north, south or west? Who are the beneficiaries?
Who are the conspirators? What is the take home salary?
How much you will give me at the end of the show?
Remember this is an open lung power show.
Anybody can pitch in with their vocal chords. This is a no holds barred attempt to rate the best lung on universe though I reserve my right to hold me the best.
Ms. Rightie don't you think the sun should've risen in the west? Ms. Rightie can you hear me...
Ms.Rightie: Mr. Anger, Mr. Anger, Mr. Super Anger please allow me to answer. Mr. Anger you are asking a question right?
Anger: I can understand your palpitation Ms. Rightie.
Come on Ms. Leftie tell us why Ms. Rightie finds herself voiceless tonight? When it comes to east, I know how it hurts you Ms. Leftie. But this is not the right sorry left place to show your sentiments. The nation wants an answer....
Ms. Leftie: Mr. Anger, Mr. Anger, Will you allow me to speak? Can I go ahead?
Anger: When it comes to east and west both Ms. Rightie and Ms. Leftie are united in gold plating their silence.
Mr. Centrie where do you find yourself in the mess?
As usual are you in the centre of the drama that's unfolding?
Do you still prefer to be in the middle of all the muddle?
Mr. Centrie I am expecting an answer. The nation wants to know...
Mr. Centrie: Mr. Anger, first of all I would say...
Anger: I know you would say... The nation is not interested in what you would like to say. The question is very simple. Why does the Sun rises in the east? Why not West? Why not South? Why not North? When the chicken is dry fried don't add gravy to it. Don't explain to me the gravitation theory... come on give a simple answer to a simple question. Why, Mr. Selfie, the sun rises in the east?
Mr. Sefie: Mr. Anger its very clear... none of the other perceived cardinal points of earth want the sun to rise from their fiefdom....
Anger: Fiefdom? Fiefdom Mr. Selfie? How can you talk about fiefdom? You all along your life have been hanging on to the focal point of your camera. And talking about fiefdoms...
Mr. Rightie: Please give me one second to shout or else my lung will explode...
Mr. Leftie: Mr. Anger, the paradox here is none of these persons are in the know of a dialectical crisis...
Mr. Centrie: Whenever a simple question is raised, these left dynasores bend like a question mark dotting a dialect...
Mr. Selfie: Shouting is my self right. I cannot allow anyone to occupy my shouting space. Mr. Anger, Mr. Anger, Mr....
Anger: Ok Ok gentlemen and fair ladies. The question is as simple as a daylight robbery. But I know how you would like to complicate it. Don't look at my foot (My Foot!) and enlarge your larynx. Ladies and gentlemen we will take a quick break. When we comeback (god willing) when we come back (definitely we will) when we come back (don't turn your back) when we come back the nation will stuff a question down your throat. 
Please don't move.
Hold your breath.
***
Welcome back to the Super Lung Power Show.
I am the Super Anger.
I represent the angry mob with a 25 cm vocal fold (remember the usual size of a vocal fold in males is between 1.75 cm and 2.5 cm  in length and those in  females between 1.25 cm and 1.75 cm).
Joining me in the lung exercise is Ms. Right to my extreme left, Ms. Left to my extreme right, Mr. Centrie on my lap (gosh! I forgot my undie), sorry above my head, and Mr. Selfie clinging on to the  camera.
All the  lung-less  can occupy the spaces below my foot (My Foot!).
As the show progresses more and more lung-ies will join it.
Please don't move.
Hold your breath.
So the question we are asking tonight, the question that the nation seeking an answer tonight, the question which you prefer not to answer tonight is: Why does the sun rises in the east?
Ms. Leftie, why you are insisting that sun should rise in the east? Isn't it the capitalist in you, the self-serving bourgeoise mindset that is preventing the sun from rising from elsewhere...
Ms. Leftie: Mr. Anger, you are not allowing me to answer. What is this? How can we prevent the sun from rising elsewhere? It's the qualified decision of the sun to rise in the east. After all the east has been the most fertile land for any sun to rise...
Anger: Ohhhhh Ms. Leftie... what fertility you are talking about? What is left in the east now is anybody's guess.
Ms. Rightie: Yes, indeed! The east is fertile? Then why there is a flow of the Brahmaputra to other parts of the country? 35 years you kept the sun in captivity. The people wanted a change. Definitely the sun is going to rise in the west on May 16....
Ms. Leftie: May 16, May 16, May 16... what's so great about May 16? May 16 was there before 2014. May 16 will come after 2014 too....
Anger: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Please wait a minute, all of you, please, please. Please wait a minute (already two minutes have gone). Now listen to me. You said May 16. What is the relevance of May 16? Don't you know the relevance of May 16?  Do you want me to tell you the relevance of May 16? Wait a minute. Please wait a minute and listen to me one second. May 16. I'll tell you the relevance of May 16.
In 1812, remember I am not going to BC.
Just 1812.
In 1812, May 16 Russian Field Marshal Mikhail Kutuzov signed the Treaty of Bucharest.
Bessarabia was  illegitimately, Ms. Leftie, I repeat, illegitimately annexed by Imperial Russia.
In 1822, May 16, during the Greek War of Independence, the Turks captured Souli.
In 1877, May 16 a major political crisis in France.
In 1918, May 16 the U.S. passed the Sedition Act.
In 1961 Ms. Leftie hold your breath for one second.
In 1961, May 16 Park Chung-hee  lead a coup d'├ętat  to overthrow, remember to overthrow, the Second Republic of South Korea.
In 1966... here comes the best of May 16, Ms. Leftie, you want me to continue further?
Listen to me for one second.
In 1966, May 16 the Communist Party of China issues the May 16 Notice  marking the beginning of the Cultural Revolution...
Ms. Rightie: (blares her larynx) LOL; LOL; LOL
Ms. Leftie: (blares her larynx too) AAARGGGhhhh; AAARRRGGGhhhh; AAAAARRrrgghhh... Ms. Rightie don't think that you can misrepresent your lung power. The proletariat will have its voice heard. Sun will continue to rise in the east. May 16 or not....
Mr. Centre: See the arrogance. Both east and west has lost their plot. The earth is at its best when the sun is at the centre of the sky. North or south or east or west doesn't matter. What is important is the centre. You cannot negate your existence. No centre means NO YOU....
Mr. Selfie: (blares his larynx close-up to camera. Nothing but the oscillation of trachea is seen. Goes on clicking his camera held between his mouth).
Anger: Gentlemen and fair ladies please hold your breath for a second. Please allow me to speak a simple truth. The question posed at the Super Lung Power show was as simple as simple could be. Please don't complicate the answer, by negating it, or alluring to it, or deviating from it, or simply by baring your larynx. The question is not about your trachea or its oscillating power. The question is very simple: Why does the sun rises in the east?
Let's take a break now to cool down the tempers. We'll be right back in 93.99 seconds after the adman fix his signature on my salary slip. You are watching the Super Lung Power show.
Don't move, don't breath.
***
Welcome back to the Super Lung Power Show.
I am the Super Anger.
I represent the angry mob with a 25 cm vocal fold (remember the usual size of a vocal fold in males is between 1.75 cm and 2.5 cm  in length and those in  females between 1.25 cm and 1.75 cm).
Joining me in the lung exercise is Ms. Right to my extreme left, Ms. Left to my extreme right, Mr. Centrie on my lap (gosh! I forgot my undie), sorry above my head, and Mr. Selfie clinging on to the  camera.
All the  lung-less  can occupy the spaces below my foot (My Foot!).
As the show progresses more and more lung-ies will join it.
Please don't move.
Hold your breath.
So the question we are asking tonight, the question that the nation seeking an answer tonight, the question which you prefer not to answer tonight is: Why does the sun rises in the east?
Mr. Centrie, the question to you in the Super Lung Power Show tonight is why are you getting irritated when the sun rises in the east... wait wait wait a second. When the sun rises in the east and moves towards the west without stopping at the centre... why are you getting irritated?
Mr. Centrie: Mr. Anger, Mr. Anger Are you asking me? Can you hear me?
Anger: Sure Mr. Centre go ahead. Commit suicide.
Mr. Centrie: Thank you Mr. Anger for giving me a long rope to commit suicide. Definitely I shall do it. But don't think that Ms. Right on your extreme left and Ms. Left on your extreme right will get whatever they want when I hang from the rope you provided. Because ropes too have a right end and a left end to it....
Anger: (shouts at top of voice, exhibits symptoms of epilepsy, bangs table, thrusts the microphone down his throat) EXACTLY, EXACTLY, EXACTLY, Exactly, exactly... Mr. Centrie you said it. All ropes have two ends. When ends meet... (my job is finished). When ends meet Mr. Centrie, there is no east no west, no north no south.
When ends meet everything ends.
It's time to end the Super Lung Power show. Gentlemen and fair ladies thank you so much.
We shall meet again in the debate number two of the Super Lung Power show. Let's take a short break. When we come back (if at all) we will see how the foot soldiers have braved the lung power. (After all they too need a break).
Hold your breath.
Don't move.
I will be right back.
It's a warning. Thank you (hang you all).

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